ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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