ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 23 JUNE 2023
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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