ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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