ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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