ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your 5am routine went viral.
You did it once, filmed it, and have slept until 11 every day since. The algorithm doesn't know. Your landlord does.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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