ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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