ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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