ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- Clear-coding means stating your intentions up front. Hers was "I have a hard stop…
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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