ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to something.
They haven't. They've committed to watching your stories within four seconds and replying to nothing.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've "found your aesthetic". It's beige. It's always beige.
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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