ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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