ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Some people run marathons.
You run late, and you still come last.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- “I'm here for the right reasons.” The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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