ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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