ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "so busy" this week.
Your screen time says eleven hours a day. Busy is one word for it. Scrolling is the other.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Lessons will be learned. By whom, and when, will also be learned. Eventually. Possibly.
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- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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