ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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