ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- Your startup is an app that replaces a phone call. With a waitlist, a…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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