ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- Roblox was free. The hat was £4.99. The sword was “everyone has one”.
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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