ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 24 MARCH 1959
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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