ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Remember when you stayed up late on purpose? Now you're up at 3am because…
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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