ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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