ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- The pothole is on the list. The list is dynamic. The pothole is permanent.
- A source close to the star confirmed the story. The source is the star.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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