ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise.
One of you will die first. It'll still be pending.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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