ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 5 OCTOBER 1960
"Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again."
That's also the plan for your job next quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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