ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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