ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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