ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 5 MAY 1962
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- The documentary is unfiltered. It took seven people to remove the filter.
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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