ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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