ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before you'd finished typing.
The children have requested a second opinion. They'll be getting it in 2041, at their own expense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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