ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious.
Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it to Tuesday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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