ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212.
The game hasn't been fun since day 30. The streak doesn't care.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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