ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- In three generations, nobody will remember your name. You don't know your great-grandmother's, so…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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