ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress". It said the…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- When life gives you lemons, it sends the invoice later. With interest.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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