ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year.
Nobody noticed you were gone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You received 40 fundraising texts today. Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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