ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You "don't do small talk".
You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails or replying. You do "vibes", and nobody can invoice those.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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