ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Be your own boss. Your new boss naps at 2pm, can't pay you, and…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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