ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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