ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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