ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
No spam. Just disappointment. Unsubscribe whenever you regain hope.