ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- In three generations, nobody will remember your name. You don't know your great-grandmother's, so…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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