ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "about to start the gym" since January.
It's October. The gym has had two owners and a refurb in the time you've been about to.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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