ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- You'll leave your children everything you have. It's mostly a bread maker and an…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Romance isn't dead. It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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