ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Money can't buy happiness. You'll never have enough to check.
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
- Nobody notices when you do your job well. Everyone notices when you leave at…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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