ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every Monday you swear this week will be different.
You've sworn it nine hundred times. The week stopped listening.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- You went "no contact" with your ex. You still check their Spotify. They're listening…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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