ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen.
It will still be on that wall long after your name is off the door.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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