ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "chronically online".
Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have a loading icon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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