ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 27 FEBRUARY 1975
You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care.
It's been delivered. It's been read. It is now the most caring thing anyone has ever ignored.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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