ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 15 FEBRUARY 1975
When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm.
It had such plans for your Thursday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You rage quit because the game was rigged. You were also just bad. Both…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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