ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've rewritten that text nine times to sound like you didn't care. It's been…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Mistakes were made. The Notes app has never once said by whom.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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