ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Love is patient. Your partner is not, and has started a note on their…
- “Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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