ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The retirement age goes up a year every time you check.
It's not a finish line. It's a horizon.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- "It's just a phase" is a phrase you'll say for eighteen years. You're the…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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