ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You are exactly where you're meant to be. That should frighten you more than…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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